it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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