just come out here and I will go home with you...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
