I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Found the puke drawer
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
