Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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