i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
