last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All the doctor said was why
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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