You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How naked do you want me to be?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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