Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
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Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
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Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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