mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Green mimosas i think yes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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