he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
