You work out of a Hotel?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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