Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize