he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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