no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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