I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
