new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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