Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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