I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
