STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
