do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
