its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
