Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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