Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
