no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
