Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
