Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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