Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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