You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
