God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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