sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
