She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
