I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
