good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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