Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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