Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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