I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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