someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
