They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
