Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
