we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
