I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
