I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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