Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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