after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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