and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
