If i come over, it means nothing
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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