Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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