Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sponge bath it is.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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