He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize