I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
