we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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