So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
