Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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