remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize