did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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