Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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