Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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