just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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