apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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