home. puking in laundry basket.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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