Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
