I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
