Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
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My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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