it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
