So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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