Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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