He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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