Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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