david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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