At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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