I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
