Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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