Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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