Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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