I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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