Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
